Saturday, December 26, 2009

And This Christmas Will be a Very Special Christmas to Me

I gotta say, this christmas was truly something special. All I wanted was to spend time with people that I love and that love me back. That's all. I didn't ask Santa for a xbox, for new clothes, or even new shoes { which I secretly want }. I didn't ask for anything but that simple request.
My family and I haven't been on the best of terms, I know it's my fault. Which I resent all the time. But I guess some things need time. I love my family very much. I already knew when December hit that I wasn't gonna be spending Christmas with them though.
This Christmas I spent it with the boyfriend's family. A family that I have grown so close to in this little time, closer than I have with my own family for all these years.
This Christmas was my first Christmas that I bought not one gift. Simply, no money. I have always been a giver, never a reciever. I don't expect anything from anybody. I used to expect many things when I was child, but too many broken promises from mamy people have changed that about me. Now. it's more like, don't expect anything at all , and you won't get dissapointed.
Especially now, that I'm much older, than when I used to sneak out of room, go peek at the tree, and see if Santa had left me a little something something.
Anyway, I walk into their house. Empty handed, feeling all shitty. Wearing a blue dress and heels. Everyone is in their pajamas. My family never waits till Christmas, we count down the minutes until 12:00 on the dot, and go on a rampage to see who tackles the tree first and make a complete mess in my mothers living room, with wrapping paper, plastic coverings, and batteries. But no, not this. Everyone is in pajamas, brand new pjs, slippers, surrounding the tree, gift wrap properly placed in the garbage....It looked straight out of a hallmark card. It was new to me. But I liked it.
And to my surprise his family had bathed me in gifts... for me... I was shocked. I wasn't expecting anything. I didn't want anything. I was grateful. I smiled from ear to ear. Not because of the presents. I could care less about them. Although they were all beautiful. I was about the thought, that I had come to mind. I didn't feel like an outsider anymore. I got what I wanted for Christmas... To spend it with people who love me back.. did you get what you wanted for Christmas?

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